Should I Date Outside the Church? by Carol Makey
This is a question most people in the church have asked time and time again.It should be prefferable to date someone in the church, but sometimes that is not possible, because depending on where you live, there may not be any singles attending. It is frustrating at best, when it seems like everyone is married. The single person may have to look elsewhere, but we all need to be on guard as to what we may be up against.
For some answers, we can turn to what Paul spoke about relationships.
In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul advised, “Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” “Unequally yoked” means to not be tied together in our relationships with persons who are unconverted.
This also holds true with dating. For instance, if a woman in the church were to date a man outside of the church, he would not understand the beliefs that compelled her to abstain from the levels of intimacy that our society has so embraced. Also in this situation, the man could place a lot of pressure on the woman to conform to this way of life, a life contrary to what God desires. The same holds true with a converted man and an unconverted woman.
From my own experience, dating someone who does not hold the same religious convictions can be damaging to your faith. When I was 19, and had my first knowledge of the truth, I fell in love with a young man my age who happened to not be in the church. He was studying to be a minister, and he and I attended the same college. All during this relationship, he constantly tried to convince me I was in a cult, and that I needed to go to his Sunday keeping church. I tried to explain to him the beliefs I held, but he wouldn’t listen.
So, predictably, the relationship ended in about four months, and I was devastated. As a result, I was confused, blamed God for everything, and fell away from the church. It was many years later that I came back to the church permanently.
That kind of situation is what makes some potential relationships just outright dangerous to the converted. Satan will use whatever means to disrupt your walk with God.
It is not a sin to date outside of the church, of course, but you have to be prepared for some resistance to the Truth, because there is no guarantee that it will be accepted or even tolerated.
The best action to take before even going on your first date, is to tell him/her how you believe. In this way, you can know beforehand whether or not you’ll even go out, based on the reaction received.This saves a lot of heartache and misery in the long run.
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